Friday, March 14, 2014

empat tahun

Empat tahun dahulu, 
aku bangun tidur dengan tangisan.
Setiap hari diakhiri dengan tangisan. 

Empat tahun dahulu,
aku kucup dahinya buat kali terakhir.

Empat tahun dahulu,
hati aku sakit 
melihat jasadnya kaku ditaburi tanah.

Empat tahun dahulu,
aku marahkan Tuhan, 
kenapa aku yang dipilih untuk diuji.

Empat tahun dahulu,
aku marahkan Tuhan,
kenapa aku diduga dengan seberat-berat ujian,
tapi tidak diberikan kekuatan.

Empat tahun dahulu,
aku marahkan diri,
kerana marahkan Tuhan.

Empat tahun dahulu,
aku lemah.
aku cemburu.
aku marah.
aku sedih.
aku benci. 
aku sakit hati.

Tapi itu aku empat tahun yang dahulu.
Aku, empat tahun yang dahulu,
bukan aku yang sekarang. 

Semoga Mak tenang rah sinun.
Kamek sik pernah nangga mak nangis.
Kamek tauk Mak kuat.
Jadi kamek akan jadi kuat juak.
Macam Mak.


Thursday, March 6, 2014

ikhlas - a forgotten attribute

Hidup untuk manusia itu memenatkan.
Maka, hiduplah untuk Tuhan, kerana Tuhan. 


I am sure most of us at certain point of time have felt tired and drained for doing something for other people when these people are enjoying themselves while they don't deserve it. At some point of time, we questioned ourselves "Why are we letting ourselves being used and suffer for the sake of other people?" "Why should we do something when we don't get anything in return?"

I have felt this a lot. Throughout my days as a university students, perhaps when I was younger too, I have raised these questions.

Why must I do something for other people when these people can easily rest?
Why must I do something for other people when I don't get anything in return?

These questions, as a consequence, made me feel so restless and angry. 

The usual examples faced by university students would be in situations where certain people are being given marks by the lecturer while the marks are not proportionate with his contribution to the team, where certain people get their names in a team but contributed less than the others, where certain people sacrificed a lot doing a program while others don't do anything or don't even give a damn about it, when certain people only want their names to be known but they asked other people to work for him while they do nothing, when certain people worked so hard and sacrificed a lot but the lecturers and the faculty do not even appreciate the effort. 

After working so hard, they don't even have times for the family, for themselves , for their friends and couldn't focus so much on their studies. And when they failed to reach the target they have set, the questions came to their mind. 

I guess that is the problem with us. 
We forgot the concept of IKHLAS.
It becomes a concept that was taught few years ago in school. And that's all about it. 

We always hoped that when we do something, we must get something in return. In my opinion, every time we do something with good intentions, we will always get a return. ALWAYS. But we don't usually see it because we hoped that when we do something for certain people, they are the ones must repay our 'kindness'.

But we forgot the One who is Most Merciful.
The One who will repay all our kindness. 
I always believe, though I sometimes forget, that anything we do, if it is with good intentions, Allah will give something in return. Allah will repay our kindness - maybe in the same form, may be not, may be you will get the return later than you expected or may be you will get it sooner. 

May be you will not be rewarded in this life,
but you will see your deposits in the 'account book' during the Judgment Day.

When you gave a lift to a stranger who was walking under a hot sun, the same person will not give you a lift later on or you won't expect any money for a very short trip. But maybe when you are in the same situation, Allah will send someone else who will give you a ride. Or maybe He will ease your affairs. Or maybe, your good deed had already been written in your 'account book'. 

I believe there is always a return for every good deeds. Like karma, when you do good things, good things will happen to you. And I also believe, kalau kita buat baik untuk manusia, mungkin manusia tak akan balas, tapi Allah akan balas. 

That is why, kita jangan hidup untuk manusia, buat sesuatu untuk manusia dan mengharapkan balasan dan penghargaan daripada manusia. Sometimes, we won't get what we want. Then we start to feel tired for nothing and to think that our hard work went in vain. That is when the concept of IKHLAS go down the drain - when we want our effort to be appreciated and rewarded by the people.

That is when we forget about the One.
Then, jadilah manusia ikhlas, yang hidup untuk Tuhan, kerana Tuhan. 
This is a reminder for myself, for those who feel that their sacrifice and hard work were wasted.