Friday, July 4, 2014

right or wrong?

"Did I make the right choice?"


I asked myself this question
13 days before I came back to Kuching... for good.

When I looked at my fellow juniors in Tamhidi
who had then recently registered, as a graduating senior,
I really wanted to ask them,
"Are you making the right choice... by entering USIM?"

Sarah once pointed out, why were we so strong to stay in USIM?
If we were weak enough, we would have left it for the better.

You know how heartbreaking it is 
when you graduate from a law school after 6 years 
but people say you are not allowed to practice?
When you graduate, your juniors,
your friends and acquaintances from other law schools
are given the opportunity to do pupillage and you're not?
When you suffered so much
but your hard work went in vain?

Hence, the question.
"Did I make the right choice?"

My negative mind says I didn't.
I deserve better.

But looking at the brighter side,
it's not that all opportunities are locked up.
As pointed out by one of the LPQB evaluators,
Datuk Khutubul Zaman, we are better off than UNISZA 
since we can still practice as a Syarie lawyer.
But somehow,
we still cried out of disappointment and anger against the faculty
at the end of the interview.

Anyway, not all seniors are jobless now.
Of course, the door of opportunity is a bit smaller for us.
But, though it sounds simplistic to some,
rezeki Allah luas.

Am I right? 

I hope I can always remember these words...

"Even if I made the wrong choice,
it's an experience. 
It might have been what's best for me
no matter how bitter.
 Or maybe He has something better in store."

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

the last June

one month away 
after the six-year journey. 


Yup, I am left with only one month
before I graduate and back for good,
leaving Nilai, the people I love, the campus, the mooting chamber, 
the craziness, the arguments, the hatred, the anger, the smiles, 
the laughs, the hectic schedule, the laziness
and heading for the new phase of life.

My thoughts are full with scary things now 
and I am feeling insecure most of the time. 
But after giving it a thought,
I first came here with the same feeling as well,
being a girl in a foreign place all on my own.

I survived anyway. 

I'll just see how my life evolves after this. 

I came here in June 2008.
And this is the last June. 
I hope everything will go fine.