Friday, December 19, 2014

to be fit

There are no shortcuts.
Shortcuts are for losers.

As I had shared in the previous post, I am currently indulging myself into a weight loss program. A gym was a strange place but I now go there after work and in the weekend. It has no become a routine (obsession, addiction or whatever you may call) that I have never once imagined to be doing.
Do I love it? Yes, though  it hurts when you have sore body every week, walks like and old lady due to the soreness and painful joints and when the numbers on the scale does not budge. 

Will I give up? I HOPE NOT. This weight loss program started when I joined an exercise group called Jomfit, encouraged by my sister, with a personal trainer, while I was at 98.5kg (my heaviest weight by far) . Then I joined Jom Kurus 1 Malaysia season 3 which has ended more than a month ago. Now, I am joining the exercise group again for 6 weeks ending next week and I also trained on my own with the guide by the instructors (and also Google and the people I met in Twitter or Instagram) 

By far, since August 2014, I have lost 12kg. A slow yet continuous progress. I can now deal with this slow progress.  At first, it was really heartbreaking. But seeing how far I have reached, I cannot stop. 

Supplements? None at all. I can't afford them and I do not need them yet. Are they good for weight loss? It works on the people who really understand how it works. You can eat all these supplements but you can still gain weight if you don't control your calorie intake. 

How do I stay motivated? 
Determination to lose weight. When you have a goal, and you set it up in your mind or paste on your bedroom wall, you will work hard towards it. I am just tired being fat and ugly. That's all. I am not saying if you are fat, you are ugly. But I am - fat and ugly - I think. Will losing weight makes me more beautiful? Unguaranteed, but I will definitely feel better and healthier. I am tired of all the pain and sickness I suffered due to obesity. I am tired of being tired just walking for a few minutes. Now, everytime I got out of bed feeling tired, I am proud because it was not only because I am fat but because I worked out the night before. I have not reached my goal yet, but I am grateful that I am on my way there.

I also shared everything that I do on the social networks - not to show off - but to inspire people who will later on remind me to never give up. 

Another way to stay motivated is to look for friends who are on the same journey. With my JK1M friends and the people I met on Instagram, I could keep myself motivated. My sister has been my source of encouragement as well. I only need serious people to be in my list of inspiration to keep going on because I admit, this is not easy. But I know the future me will thank my current self for not giving up. 

Now, with 86kg, I feel like walking on the air already :P
Haha. I know I know. I am still an obese, But,
I am proud of where I am for what I have gone through.
To anyone who wants to lose weight or simply be fit, remember,


summa cum laude

achievement unlocked. 

This is a bit far too delayed to post about my graduation ceremony. 
But I will still write about it. 

Alhamdulillah, I graduated the university with the highest distinction. I do not know whether I should be proud of it now but I am sure proud to wear the summa cum laude sash (or what we called as "selempang ratu cantik") during the graduation ceremony.

Was it success?
I think so.
Because nobody thinks that
taking up a 5-year program (and unrecognized by the LPQB) is an easy journey. 
But we made it through with the will of God, the help of some lecturers and friends. 


But my graduation ceremony is among the three events that I will miss my mom's presence the most. She has never missed my graduation ceremonies or majlis anugerah cemerlang ever since I was in kindergarten. But she was not there at my (perhaps, the last) graduation ceremony. The other two events? - the day I get married and the day I give birth to my first child. 

I missed her. But I know she would have been proud. And I hope so does my dad. 

Do I have any regret? 

Nope. Regretting the past won't bring me anywhere. I am grateful meeting the people I met, the best, the worst and anyone in between. I am grateful for being there no matter how tough it was. I am grateful for the sweetest and the bitter moments I have experienced. I am grateful for all the laughters and tears I had shed. I am grateful for all the hurdles and obstacles I had faced. Sure, I felt so bitter at times. But those times taught me some lesson. After all, things that had happened were all in His plans. There must be a reason behind everything.

So, alhamdulillah is all I can say.
I think I got more than I deserved.